91´«Ã½

Learning the Art of Small Talk

By Dr. Malore I. Brown

Networking with people you do not know or are casually acquainted can sometimes present a challenge. The key to succeeding with small talk is preparation. Think of a few topics that you can discuss. There is a fine line between being chatty and being annoying.

Preparation

• Read everything – newspapers, blogs, reviews, catalogs, quotes, sports, fashion, art, research, pop-culture, music, theater

• Practice – with your friends, co-workers, family

• Practice with people you don’t know – at the bus/train station, doctor’s waiting room, department store. Tourists, senior citizens, and teenagers can be great to converse with.

• Talk to yourself in the mirror – listen to how you sound. Have your own introduction prepared in your head so you aren’t tongue tied when you meet someone at a party, conference or event.

• LISTEN – be willing to listen when the other person speaks. Ask them about themselves. Build upon the conversation based on their response.

• Make an extra effort to remember names during introductions and use them frequently.

• Stay focused on your conversational partner by actively listening and giving feedback. Maintain eye contact. Don’t glance around the room while they are talking to you.

• If someone hands you a business card, accept it as a gift. Hold it and take a moment to read what is written on it. You may even want to comment on the logo. When you’re done, put it away to show that it is valued.

• If there are people you want to meet, one of the best ways to approach them is to be introduced by someone they know and respect. Ask a mutual friend to do the introduction.

• Have a few exit lines ready so that you can both gracefully move on. For example, “I need to check in with a vendor over there,” “I missed lunch today, so I’m going to visit the buffet,” or you can offer to refresh their drink.

• Confidence – work on overcoming your shyness

Safe topics in small talk

• Weather – Beautiful weather today isn’t it? I can’t believe how much snow we are getting? How was your flight coming in?

• Pets – What a cute little puppy? What breed is it?

• Current events (avoid politics) – I just heard on the news this morning that there was a fire on Broadway.

• New Technology – I read on (insert name) blog that the prices of smartphones are dropping and the consumers will benefit from the competition

• The Field – Did you see the article in American Libraries about the upcoming IFLA conference? I’d sure like to go one of these days? Have you attended an IFLA conference?

• Social Event – How do you know the host (insert name)? Have you tried the samosas?

Avoid

• Anything personal, philosophical, political, and/or controversial

Small talk can segue into a larger conversation about you and your current job search; however, you do not want to lead with your job search as a conversation starter.

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Originally written for the 91´«Ã½'s Get A Job site, 2009.